A Very Gary Christmas – Dec 24 (Part 2)

December 24th – Weihnachten / Christmas Eve (Part 2)

When all the Christmas carols were sung and everyone was exhausted, it was finally time for presents. It was always the most stressful part of Christmas, having the kids eat their dinner and sing the songs with the presents piled up in the room, within view. As soon as they were allowed to get to them, the kids stormed to the pile of presents, looking at the labels and shouting out the names they could read. Manfred and his brother Michael stayed in their seats at the table, knowing they wouldn’t get any presents and, considering what they had done, knowing their chances were even lower than ever before. Then they saw Gary coming towards them, carrying a stocking in his mouth. When they crouched down to pet them, he nudged them with the stocking. It had their names on them. The brothers were overjoyed to see the two toy cars in it. In the background, the pastor was smiling.

After all the children had unwrapped their presents and were playing together happily, the pastor made an announcement, something that was unheard of in the village.

“We will have Christmas Mass here in the barn! The church would be too small to host the whole village anyway,” he smiled cheekily.
When everyone applauded, he ran back to the church to put up a sign that mass would be held at the farm. And so it happened that it ended up being the best-attended Christmas Mass in the history of the village!

Madeleine, who had no children of her own, walked outside the barn for some fresh air and to escape the noise and craziness inside; she got plenty of that every day at school. Shortly afterwards, Markus left the barn as well, cheerful and tipsy. He tried to hit on the pretty teacher, hoping that he would be a little less intimidating without his Krampus outfit, but once again she turned him down. This time, he was standing under a mistletoe and felt it was his right to get a kiss, so pulled Madeleine into an embrace.

At that moment, Gary came around the corner, having no desire to be rushed by an over-enthusiastic group of kids again and saw her struggling. He broke into a run and shoved his head right into the side of Markus’ legs. The man stumbled and fell over, right into a large puddle of slush. Madeleine laughed as the wet and muddy man clambered back to his feet, cursing as he did so. Attracted by the disturbance, Ludwig came outside to see what was going on.

“Gary saved me, he really is a hero,” Madeleine explained and gave the goat an affectionate pat on the head.
“I am sorry he tried to force you to kiss him. The man is an idiot,” Ludwig said, embarrassed.
“Yes, it was horrible, I really don’t want to kiss him at all,” she said, looking at the farmer. “I really do want to do this.”

She grabbed Ludwig’s tie, pulled him towards her and kissed him. He wasn’t sure, but he thought he heard Gary making retching noises in the background.


A Very Gary Christmas – Dec 3

December 3rd 

“Hello Anton, nice to see you; come in, come in,” Ludwig cheerfully greeted the old man who stood at the door.

He led him straight into the warm farmhouse kitchen, where a wood-burning stove heated the whole room and most of the rest of the house as well.

“Ludwig, I need your help,” he said once he was seated.
The farmer looked at him and put a milky coffee down in front of him.
“Of course, what do you need? Anything broken?”

Since Ludwig’s parents had died, Anton Stopfer and his late wife had basically adopted him as a grandson. Now the two of them looked after each other and their respective neighbouring farms.
”No, no. It’s just, I can feel it coming,” he broke off to take a sip of coffee. “Holy cow! What sort of brew is that?”
“Espresso with milk,” Ludwig explained.

The adventures he had been on had led him to meet a young lady who taught him the ins and outs of coffee. Though her heart was never destined to be his, her passion for coffee remained with him.

“Devil’s brew, fancy Italian nonsense. Nothing’s wrong with a good pot of filter coffee,” he grumbled.
“Of course not,” the young man smiled, “but tell me, what do you feel coming, other than a major grump.”
“Time, Ludwig, my time has come.”
“Oh, don’t say that Anton. You’re as fresh as a spring chicken!”
“No, my boy, I am serious. I think this will be my last Christmas.”

A Very Gary Christmas – Dec 2

December 2nd

Gary sat next to the goat pen and stared at his friends. He knew he was still a goat, but being able to talk to Ludwig had slowly changed him. Less and less he understood them and their wishes and desires. He was still very much into girl goats and food, particularly the dessert Kaiserschmarrn, which is an Austrian specialty in the form of torn-apart thick, fluffy pancakes. As a warm cinnamon aroma joined the normal farmyard odours, he realised his dessert was going to be ready soon, so he sadly turned away from the pen and walked into the house where Ludwig was waiting for him.

What set Gary apart even more than his special ability was the fact that he had been on adventures with Ludwig and was in training to be a superhero. Captain Myotonic was his name. He even had a cape.

Hopping up to sit on the chair at the kitchen table, he almost felt human, despite his hooves, fur and horns. Ludwig placed a plate of Kaiserschmarrn in front of him, sprinkled icing sugar over it and set a deep bowl of apple sauce on the side. Gary thought it looked like a picturesque, yet tasty mountain scene with freshly fallen snow. He dug in, face first, completely ignoring the knocking at the door.

A Very Gary Christmas – Dec 1

December 1st

“If it is snowing now, I’m sure it will all be gone by Christmas,” Gary complained.
“Are you telling me you’re superstitious?” Ludwig looked at his

goat, his eyebrow raised.
“Have you never noticed it?”
“Noticed what?”
“Well, you know, I want a white Christmas, but we barely ever get them anymore,” the goat explained.
“I didn’t know you liked Christmas, white or otherwise.”
“Only because last year I couldn’t talk, could I?”
Gary was referring to the freak incident when a mad scientist shoved Gary through a fake portal to turn him into a human, but all it did was give him the ability to speak.
“I just

looooooooove snow!” Gary said dreamily.
“That much I did know; you were always running around the pen like a crazy thing as soon as it started to snow. Then you got so excited and worked up that you passed out and the snow covered you until you were completely cold and wet,” the farmer remarked.
“Yes, it was awesome…”